Friday, September 22, 2017

am I even aware of my own beliefs?

Blackened.
Last nights dream presented this ego as one asking for trouble on a biblical scale. My death would have been protracted. The mob woud have beaten me to a pulp. The daggers would have entered my heart, the neck and throat would have been cut. In this dream I was walking through a middle eastern city street, family men and children were dining, and 'I', this confused cloud of ether zip up behind a child and deliberately, with total abandon utter this sort of 'inverted' attestation of faith in god. The child quivers in utter fear as each word is delivered. I attested to faithlessness , or rather, worship of satan. My god. Is this the actual content of my heart? Then a merchant, a chap I know , says 'kufr'. I translate it as 'disbelief'. It's Ali who i used to work with. However, he seems to have been fundamentalized in this dream setting.
'I', in the waking state, would not dare to rock the boat that is sharia. I would not dare frighten young children. If i was in an Islamic territory I would play by the rules I guess. Or would I? Yes, yes I would. Would you? Could you?
I am quite, quite disturbed by this dream.

Am I conscious? Is consciousness real? What do the radicals want? And if they acheive it, what then? Who are the true bad guys? Is there really, really belief amongst the top clerics? And what of the theists who work in the sciences? Or are they all corrupt hypocrits? What is territory? Is the internet a domain that god controls? Am I atheist at heart? Am I theist? What is religion exactly and why, why, with scienctific truths and evidences pointing to evolutionary natural selection as the true, tested and verified reason for human kinds existence and intelligence and position in the world, why do religionists propagate? The muftis just laugh when publicly confonted by pink-faced workin class scum like me. How utterly smug they must feel knowing that heaven is waiting for them and their family, and clearly, hells' staff is preparing a roasting pit for 'me', all buddhists, all hindus, all christians, all jews, all atheists, all zoroastrians, all pagans, all communists, all hedonists, all secular children, every body on earth basically.

Is religion a control mechanism or is it alien intervention. What better way of fabricating life with meaning and order? what better way to keep the populace from runnig amok?

Will capitalism be defeated by sharia law? They must eradicate capitalism first. Do they truly want to
acheive that? What are the odds? What are the chances? Is a workers revolution to occur? Is organization possible in this dismembered and atomized world? who pays the rent on the club houses? what if the rent is late? why can't I get the dole? How come every other person can?

No comments:

Post a Comment